You tried.
I gotta give you that.
And I wasn't
Just trying
To give you a hard time.
See, I heard what you had to say.
I listened to your words.
But I also heard
The emptiness
In them.
I heard
The absence of
Pain.
So until your pain,
Matches mine.
Don't bother.
18 comments:
Ahhhh ur back..
:-)
Is it possible for someone to Truly..Truly empathize?
I think not...
Should they not try...?
Not easy
Hey David :)
I reread it now and can understand why you interpreted it the way you did. But the thing is that this was someone sort of trying to, shall we say, 'make up' with me (no, not hubby) but I could tell that the strained relationship doesn't affect them as much as it does me.
Ok..I get it.
So...basically it sounds like this other person saw this as a more shallow relationship to begin with..thus the smaller hurt and smaller gap..and the less it affects them..
Is that possible?
Well, not exactly. See this person is a relative of mine - a close relative. As a matter of fact, this person is related to me in a way that THEY should be the one more hurt by our strained relationship than I should be. That's why the obvious lack of their pain is so hurtfull to me.
Sounds like the type of person/relationship that will drag you down...sink you...
On the other hand..if it's a close relative..can you ignore and not reapir at least the semblance of a relationship?
David, so sorry it took me so long to respond, but I haven't checked my blog in days. :( I'm trying not to get addicted. So in response, we already have a semblance and that's not good enough for me. I'd rather have nothing than a semblance, because then I wouldn't bother hoping. Eh, it's the same old garbage. I try not to think about it too much, but when I wrote this, something had just happened that triggered me to write it. Same old..same old.
hmmm ok...it sounds complicated..and the emotions expressed in prose so real..
so cool you're posting you words of wisdom again.
Oh Prag, that's so nice of you to say. I feel so bad I haven't checked my blog in days and I'm responding two days after you left your comment! Oh well...thanks!
walla i like this. glad i found ur blog, gen. i do appreciate your writing.
and i wish you lotsa luck in 'workin things out'. for real.
Thank you so much Sabra. I appreciate you saying that.
And as far as working things out...well, you never know - miracles do happen. ;)
I think this everytime I fight with my husband-- how can it not hurt him as it hurts me. You know what, I think he hurts in other ways and I just don't know it.
How can you live with somebody, sleep with somebody and raise children with someone and feel nothing? It's not possible, so I need to remind myself of this.
He is not me. I wear my pain and anger on my sleeve. He hurts in other ways.
Well done, love the style so real.
Bonnie - That's very true. Different people react differently to anger and pain. And in most cases it's the woman who's more openly hurt, and the man more subtly so. In my marriage, it's actually the opposite, and although it was hard for me to deal with in the beginning, after hearing so many women speak about how their husbands are closed up, I'm thankful that my husband isn't. So...having said all that...this post wasn't about my husband. :)
SWFM - thank you. This one was probably one of my realest ones. I wrote it real quickly right after a phone call that had gotten me upset. So it's just plain raw.
I didn't think it was. But it did make me think about my relationship with my husband-- at times. Though more likely an exboyfriend from long ago.
You are so lucky to have a husband who opens up. Mine only does when he is about to blow and then I don't know what to do because he is really angry or hurt. I'm unprepared.
Bonnie - yeah, that sounds tough. From what I understand, many men are that way.
Oh, do I know that feeling. It's fairly awful. You want them to mean what they're saying--is it really so very hard?! And yet, sometimes it's just not there, no matter how hard you wish.
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